Hopes, Dreams, and Confusing Questions
by PleasantlyPerfect
Summary: Bella has had her eye on Edward ever since she moved to Forks a year ago, and she desperately wants to be something more than the new girl to him. But friends, family, and fate all seem to get in the way.
1. Chapter One

**AN:** I really hope you like the story. I've written...fourteen chapters so far, but I'll put them up one at a time, right after I get some reviews :) I originally just wrote this as a regular story, but eventually modified it a little to fit the world of Twilight, sans vampires, and with a storyline of my own.

(Since I originally used different names for the characters, I went back and changed them to Edward and Bella and such, so I'm really sorry if I missed any) I also don't have names for the chapters yet, but I might name some of them if some good names come to mind. There are quotes at the beginning of each chapter. They don't have any significance in the story, but it sorta sets you up to read the chapter.

Leave reviews please! Hope you enjoy! :D

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C**hapter 1**

You don't know what you mean to me,

You don't even have a clue,

You can't tell by looking at me what I feel for you.

I sighed and laid my head down on my arm, just thinking. _Does he even know that I exist?_ For months, ever since I realized that I liked Edward, I'd realized just how much people don't notice me. I've worked my entire life so far trying to become invisible, and now that I'd achieved my goal, I wanted the exact opposite! Even though we'd sat together in Math, and had 4 other classes together for the whole semester, Edward hadn't said more than 10 words to me the entire year.

Before I moved to Forks, I really had no reason to try to draw attention to myself. In fact, it was better if I stayed in the shadows, after what had happened during elementary school. Being in the background became a way to protect myself from the other kids. And for the most part, it worked. But now that I _wanted_ some attention, I had no clue how to go about doing it.

_When have I ever felt this strongly about a guy?_ I asked myself. But I knew the answer to that: never. There had never been a time when I saw a guy and my heart skipped a beat. There has never been a time when a guy happened to graze my arm and I felt like I was on fire. But now there has. And now that I've experienced that, I don't think it could ever change. Edward had changed my life, even if he didn't know it. I finally understood all of the old clichés that talk about falling in love, like it's some sort of pit. Now I know that it is a pit. A pit filled with quicksand. If you lose your balance just once and fall in, you can never get out, not until someone forcibly removes you, which almost always will end in a broken heart.

_First things first, I need to act more confident. _I got up and walked over to the full length mirror on the back of my bedroom door. Like I had read in a book, I rolled my shoulders back, straightened my lower back, and lifted my chin. When I looked back at the mirror, it looked like a cartoon had replaced me. I sighed, and collapsed back onto my bed. _This is not going to be easy_.

The next morning I got up late, due to the fact that I had tossed and turned till 2am, and then finally got to sleep. When I went into the kitchen I found a note on the counter reading:

Bella,

When you wake up text me, and I'll let you know when

I'll be home. Went to work.

-Mom

I texted my mom and found out that she wasn't going to be home for another 4 hours. Inside sighing with relief, I reassured her that it wasn't a problem. I liked being alone better than with nosy parents. It was easier to get stuff done, like research. So I grabbed a breakfast bar, a cup of coffee, and my laptop, then went and sat on the couch while looking for an article online about confidence. I found _numerous_ articles and websites about how to look and act for confident. One was titled 'Look More Approachable'. I read it, and it seemed exactly what I needed. Now I just had to start trying it out. Basically, I had to look up and around more, not cover my mouth with things, like my hands, and sit up a little straighter, and not look like a dog with its tail between its legs.

_What am I doing?_ I suddenly realized. _This is the stupidest and lowest thing I have ever done. No more scheming, I need to just be myself...just a little more outgoing. _I pushed the computer away, and decided that the next day in school, I would find a way to say something to Edward. Anything, as long as I could get up the courage to initiate a conversation.

The next morning I got up and went to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal before getting ready for school. Surprisingly, my mom was in there making pancakes. An unusual occurrence, but I wasn't about to complain. Mom noticed me, and said, "Hey Bells! I decided that you've been working so hard and doing so well in school that you needed a treat. I know how much you love chocolate chip pancakes." She smiled, and I grinned right back. _What a perfect start to the hardest day of my life_, I thought. I got the maple syrup out of the fridge and went to sit down at the table. Mom gave me two pancakes, and started eyeing them hungrily. "There's some more if you want them", she said, laughing at my expression.

I laughed, "No, I should be good."

As I started tearing into the pancakes, she looked at me across the table and said, "Anything special happening at school today?" My mind said, _Um, hell yeah! I'm about to try to get the guy of my dreams to notice me! That's pretty dang special to me!_ But I didn't say that. If I said that, my mom would go crazy.

So instead I said, "Nah. Nothing special."

"Okay, then," she replied, "I'm off to work. See you when I get home."

"Alrighty. Bye!" I called after her.

I voraciously finished my pancakes and put my dishes in the sink. _I'll do them when I get home_, I decided. Going to my room to ponder over what to wear, I tripped over a dog bone, as I did a lot. My dog, Diva, never bothered to be nice and put them away. Grimacing at my toe, which was now throbbing, I hobbled over to my bed, hoping it would stop before I had to leave. While sitting there, I stared at my closet, thinking about what to wear today. I needed to feel at least a little more confident than usually today, so I picked one of my favorite outfits: flats, my tighter, but stretchy pair of jeans, a purple peasant shirt, and a black cardigan over it. With the pain in my toe slightly abated, I got dressed and looked in the mirror.

The girl who stared back at me didn't _look_ like the inhibited introvert I see every morning, but neither did it look like a self-assured bitch. I liked it. It was exactly what I needed to see this morning. This, and every other morning. As I put on my slight touches of makeup that I do nearly every morning, I decided that I looked as good as I was gonna get this morning. Mentally preparing myself for the day ahead, I looked one final time in the mirror, then walked out the door, heading for where the bus stopped every morning. Waiting for the bus, alone, I thought about the day ahead. I suddenly started shaking. _I don't think I can do this._ But then, I pictured Edward's face, then other kid's faces, watching their eyes as they slid right past me to the person beside me. My doubt vanished, and I stepped onto the bus after its squealing brakes had done their job, ready to face whatever came.


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter 2**

Everyone's known someone that they just can't help but want.

As I got ready to get off the bus, I noticed all of the other students arriving in their cars. _One more month, and then I'll have my license. Just one more month. Then I won't have to ride this stupid bus again._ I stood up, and shuffled into line behind the people in front of me, who were, as usual, pushing to get off the bus. As I calmly waited for the other people to file off the bus, I caught sight of Edward out of the window, getting out of his black truck with one of his friends. He swung the door shut and started walking towards the entrance to the school, laughing with his friend over some joke.

"Um, excuse me, but could you please _move_?" I heard someone ask irritably behind me. Embarrassed, I mumbled something that sounded a little like a 'sorry' and started walking forward. As I got off the bus, I spotted my friend Jessica walking a little bit behind Edward and started walking faster to catch up with her. Just as I had come up beside her, I felt myself trip over something, which made me lose my balance. I tried to catch myself as I felt myself hurtling towards the ground, but that ended up just making me land on my shoulder.

"Oh crap, that hurt," I muttered. I got up and then looked back the way I came to see what had tripped me. As I glowered at the offending tree root, I heard someone laugh behind me. I whipped around to see Jessica giggling at my reaction. Glaring at her now, I did a quick inventory to see what was hurting. My shoulder was pretty well bruised, somehow my toe had started throbbing again, and I had a few scratches on my hands, but other than that I was pretty good.

When Jessica and I started walking again, I looked ahead of us to see Edward looking at us, seeming like he had wanted to come over and help me. Or maybe it was just another fabrication of my wild imagination. _Yeah, a figment of you and your currently inflated ego's_, whispered a voice in my head. I shook my head, trying to shut that voice up, and continued walking-this time careful watching the ground ahead of me. I was extremely embarrassed, and I knew that my cheeks were probably crimson red right then, but at that moment, all I could think of is that Edward had noticed me, even if it was because I'd tripped in front of the whole school.

Jessica and I went to the cafeteria to kill some time before the bell rang. As we walked inside, my other friends waved us over to their table. We walked over, sat down, and before me or Jessica had a chance to say anything Mike said, "Okay. Trivia question."

Everyone at the table groaned. "Another one?" Angela asked. Mike just ignored her and continued speaking.

"True or false? The tune to the Star Spangled Banner was once a famous drinking song in England." I smiled, because I could hear several people at the table now humming the Star Spangled Banner. I thought through it, and the style of drinking songs back then, and decided that it could've been.

"Ooh, that's a hard one," Eric mused. I kicked Mike, as that was the agreed-upon method to signal that we had an answer. I smirked as I saw him wince.

The rule, which was obviously _not_ invented by Mike, was suggested by Angela, who said that Mike should 'feel some of the torture he puts us through with his constant trivia questions.'

"Ouch!" he shouted, "You don't need to do it _that_ hard!" I just smiled at him. "Alright alright," he muttered, "What's your answer?" I was pretty sure about it.

"It's true."

"Right once again, Bella," he replied grudgingly, "What's your score now?"

I thought about it for a minute. Then I answered confidently. "16."

The reason we kept score was so that whoever had the most points at the end of the year would get a reward from Mike. No one knew what that prize was, but we all liked competition, so we all played. Every morning Mike would bring us a question. I answered them the most, but not by much. Eric was pretty close behind me. I believe he had 14 points.

We all talked about our weekends thereafter until the bell rang. After it stopped its incessant clanging, our group of friends parted ways to go to their respective hallways. We were all on different teams for the most part. Jessica and I were on the same team, but Mike, Angela, and Eric were all on separate teams, so we only saw each other before school and during lunch.

I headed to my first period, which was gym, and dressed out into my sweats and my choir t-shirt. Today was our free day, so me and Melody just grabbed a volleyball and started peppering to pass the time. I played volleyball during the first semester, but when that ended I just switched to gym first period, since I like to exercise in the morning. After gym ended, I walked to my second period, Algebra II, with Melody, since we both had that class.

It was my first fun class of the day-mostly because it was usually the first time I saw Edward every day. _I am so pathetic_, I thought to myself. Walking in the door, me and Melody split, she to her seat, and me to mine. Fortunately, my seat was right beside Edward's, a fact that only made me love that class more.

Edward walked in the door, and I immediately started reading like I normally did, trying not to look at him. Saying hi to a few friends along the way, he made his way towards his seat, right next to mine. Normal routine. Same thing every day. But today, he did something that surprised me. When he sat down, he turned towards me. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, and tensed, wondering what he was doing.

"Did you get any battle scars from your fight with the ground this morning?" he asked, looking at me. I turned with an incredulous expression on my face. Sensing it, I hurriedly replaced it with a smile.

"A few bruises, nothing impressive."

He smiled. "Then these scratches are just collateral damage?" he asked, while tracing one of them on my hand. I wasn't prepared for the wave of emotion that flowed through me because of that simple touch.

"Just the souvenirs from my stupidity," I answered, trying to control my breathing.

"So you're okay, then?" He actually seemed to care.

"Well, I'm alive and breathing still, so yeah. I'm fine," I answered. He smiled.

"Good."

I went back to my reading, trying to calm down. _Did that just happen?_ Yes. I believe it did. And then I grinned like an imbecile the rest of the class.


End file.
